My husband (“Jay”) and I are both 24 and went to the same high school, but we were never close back then because he had a long-term girlfriend, Ruby. Their relationship later turned toxic and emotionally damaging, and they eventually broke up in 2021.
After that, Jay and I started talking and slowly built a relationship, taking things carefully because he needed time to heal from what he had been through. We didn’t make things official for several months, but just as we began dating, Ruby reappeared in his life.
Despite knowing about me, she kept reaching out to Jay for years through texts, messages, and even contacting his family. Even after we got engaged and eventually married, she continued trying to insert herself into our lives. Recently, she sent him a video of herself singing a love song she wrote about him in high school, along with a message that felt emotionally inappropriate, crossing a boundary in our marriage.
My husbands ex sent him a video of her singing a love song that she wrote about him
We finally realized this couldn’t continue as it had been for years. No matter how gently Jay responded in the past, it only kept the door slightly open for her to keep reaching out. This time felt like a clear line was crossed, especially now that we are married and she is fully aware of it.
So instead of engaging emotionally or explaining further, we chose a firm boundary and simply told her not to contact us again. No arguments, no back-and-forth, just a clear message.
After that, we stepped back and agreed that the healthiest approach is consistency—no replies, no explanations, and no reactions if she tries again. If anything escalates or continues, we’ll keep records and consider stronger action if needed.
For now, we’re focused on protecting our peace and our marriage, and not allowing past chaos to keep interfering in our present life.
