Living with a severe allergy means trusting the people around you with your safety not just your comfort. When I moved in with my roommate, I thought we had a clear understanding about boundaries and precautions.
But over time, small “mistakes” started to feel like real risks, and I found myself constantly anxious in my own kitchen. What should have been a safe space began to feel unpredictable.
I’m writing this story because I’ve reached a point where I had to take control of my own safety, even if it upset someone else. Putting a lock on my food storage wasn’t about punishment it was about survival.
Still, her reaction made me question myself. Am I being unreasonable, or just protecting my health in the only way I can?
AITA for putting a lock on my allergy safe cabinet after my roommate kept cross contaminating my food?
I have a severe nut allergy. It’s not airborne dangerous, but if I eat even a trace amount, I go into anaphylaxis and need my EpiPen.
When I moved in with my roommate, Taylor, I made this extremely clear. We agreed that she could have peanut butter and nuts in the apartment,
but she had to keep them in her own designated cupboard and wash everything thoroughly.
The problem is that Taylor is very forgetful. I’ve caught her using my safe wooden salad spoons to stir her peanut-butter oatmeal, and she often leaves open bags of almonds sitting directly on my cutting board.
Every time I bring it up, she says, Oops, my bad, I forgot!
Last week, I found a smear of peanut butter on the handle of my toaster. That was the final straw. I realized I couldn’t trust her to be careful in the shared pantry.
so I bought a small, locking plastic bin for my essential safe dry goods and put a child safety lock on one specific kitchen cabinet for my pots and pans.
When Taylor saw the lock, she flipped out. She said I was making her feel like a criminal or a toddler in her own home.
She thinks a lock is an aggressive hostile roommate move and that I’m being ableist against her ADHD because she can’t help being forgetful.
this situation isn’t about control or punishment it’s about safety. Living with a severe allergy means even small mistakes can have serious consequences, and trust becomes everything.
When that trust is repeatedly broken, taking extra precautions isn’t an overreaction it’s necessary.
I didn’t want things to reach the point of adding locks, but I also can’t risk my health to spare someone’s feelings.
Maybe this situation will lead to better understanding and boundaries, or maybe it shows that our living arrangement just isn’t compatible. Either way, I have to prioritize my safety first, even if it makes me seem like the “bad guy.”
Minnichi — Exactly! My husband with ADHD and my kids were more careful about my life-threatening allergy than I was. OP is NTA. Roommate just doesn’t care.
Powerful_Classic_177 — I have a severe nut allergy and my husband with AuDHD is never careless. He avoids nuts completely for me.
PotooooooooChip — You’re accommodating her ADHD with a solution. She’s proven she can’t remember. You’re being reasonable.
as_per_danielle — ADHD doesn’t mean you can’t remember important things. If she cared, she would.
Low_Recognition_1557 — NTA. This is life or death. Why does she feel entitled to your things?